Let’s talk about the one thing that keeps coming up over and over and over. Moms are stressed, cranky, sleep deprived, just battling their way through the days. It’s no surprise that many mothers just kind of let the negative energy flow, and one moment of frustration keeps rolling into the next, and into the next, and before you know it, it’s been a really bad day, a bad week, month? But all this negative energy we are harvesting is truly like taking small sips of poison during our days. Overwhelmed with frustration we lash out at our children, our spouses, and ourselves. We might snap at our toddlers for something totally insignificant, or be distant and short with our spouses even when they are trying to show you much needed affection, or we may succumb to our weaknesses be it binge eating, that extra-extra glass of wine, smoking, ignoring your proposed workouts, etc. etc. This negative energy can be built up in the same way one builds up positive energy, but when we are stuck in that stressed out, frustrated mind set, it can be difficult to switch gears and turn an unpleasant experience into one that can help build up our positive energy instead of our negative. Remember, once you start building up positive, or negative energy, it will start growing almost immediately on it’s own. So how do we turn negative, stressful, and frustrating experiences into opportunities to build up positive energy instead of negative?
It is definitely not an easy task to readjust your mind set when our instinctive reaction to something unexpected can be quite defensive. But we must try to practice taking the good along with the bad with as much openness, love, joy and grace as we can muster. Life is filled with great joys and great pains, and many many many surprises. As soon as we learn to accept all of these moments as one unified experience of life, and not separate instances in life, we will be able to let our love, joy and happiness flow into every aspect of our lives, not just the joyous moments.
Reacting to surprising or unexpected events with openness and love can help up build up our positive energy and karma.
So how do we accomplish this?
First we must start to recognize that negative energy rearing it’s ugly head into our day. Despite our instincts to think other wise, it is not the dog’s fault you are having a bad day because they saw something cool on the other side of your yard’s fence. You are not having a bad day because your toddler is over tired/frustrated/screaming bloody murder. You are not having a bad day because your spouse taking too long getting home after that long day. It turns out that we are having bad days because we choose to engage, build up, and even help grow our negative karma/energy. One wrong turn and we willingly lock ourselves into that negative mindset that only brings more negativity our way. When we are having a moment of frustration, we have to stop for a moment to recognize these feelings. Yes, my dog jumping the fence, again, is quite inconvenient. But lets face it, she just needs a walk today, and quite likely, so do I. My child screaming, however dramatic, is usually remedied more quickly with a calm and loving attitude than a frustrated and angry one. And so it goes, that in handling one not so convenient situation with a little more grace, we start to feel that positive karma building up. Didn’t it feel good to reverse gears and not give in to that negativity. All of a sudden what could have triggered a series of frustrations is instead giving you feelings of vindication and success. Not only did you remedy the situation with grace, you also showed yourself how incredibly awesome you are as a human being. Keeping your cool under pressure is never easy!
Once you start applying this mindset on a consistent basis you will start to realize that you are very much in control of your mood. Turning small moments of frustration into moments of success and vindication can make you feel like the super human/mom you are. And that positive energy will really start to flow.
So to sum things up, lets recap in 3 easy to remember steps.
1- Recognize you are feeling frustrated by the given situation.
2- If there is anything you can do to remedy the situation, do so with grace.
3- Think about ways in which this situation is actually helpful to you. Perhaps you need to practice patience, thoughtfulness, kindness, understanding, respect of differences, love, or gentleness. How else could we practice these virtues without opportunities to do so?
By being mindful of your attitude as well as your reaction you can help create positive energy and karma in your day. Don’t let yourself indulge in the negative reaction, this is the easy and natural reaction. Try to take control of your day and your mood by steering towards the positive and let that energy flow.
What are the common triggers in your life that turn a perfectly lovely day into a bad one? Have you noticed a pattern? When does your mindset switch to a negative state?
I hope this article helps you remember that we truly are in control.
#divine mothering, mindful living, spirituality, uplift